I had a moment yesterday when I was out for a walk, and it was the first beautiful, spring-feeling day we’ve had in the past week here in Toronto. In that moment, which lasted for just two footsteps, I felt a pure joy at just having a body that I could go for a walk in. It had been a while since I’ve felt that.
And something in me rejoiced with the inward cry: “THIS IS IT. This feeling is WHY you keep working on your body! And don’t you forget it” (for the record, I’ve already forgotten it… And was reminded only when I went back to revise this bit of writing…).
I think this is the ultimate “why” to embody, the longer those of us with a movement practice, practice: We keep working on our bodies so that it becomes like a receptacle into which joy can come. We do the work so we can get our bodies into a receptive state.
And developing this receptivity can only come to be, if you’re not using exercise as a crutch.
However, this feeling lasted only for a measly two steps- maybe 2 seconds. And then I went back to walking and being lost in my thoughts, back into my grocery list, instead of basking in this inherent delight of my body that had come without my even forcing it.
You see in that moment I realized that I didn’t need anything else to feel that life was a blessing, it was this feeling in my body. My body was a blessing that I was living my life in.
But years and years of deliberate hard work needed to happen for that moment to come. And the payoff? Two spontaneous seconds of gratitude. Doesn’t seem like a good payoff, does it… Kind of a pitiful return on investment, when you do the math.
But yet I persevere, because maybe tomorrow I can extend that to four seconds, four joyful steps. If I keep doing the work.
So I want to ask the question: Is there something your are using exercise as a crutch for? Or to put it in other words, what is the current demand you’re feeling from life that you feel exercise can fulfill?
Is exercise just a means to an end? Or is done with the awareness that this is the disciplined action that needs to be taken because you can no longer deny how you body’s baggage, pain, stress, and lethargy are holding you back from a natural state of ease and celebration? Its a bit of a subtle distinction, but you can feel it if you tune in.
For me (and maybe some of this will ring true for you as well) the demand I feel for my body is that I must keep working to understand it better, work to keep it pain free, keep it strong and resilient, and work to respect it.
I feel the demand that I practice loving and trusting my body more, and use my movement practice to actualize that, not to escape into exercising as a means shape my body to an image that society will recognize as acceptable. Sometimes this means the demand is to just REST (I’m feeling that demand for deliberate rest today…).
And I know that this demand is bigger than me. As I do my work to support my body, peeling back the onion layers of strain, pain, injury, and all the times I failed to listen to it, I know I will be able to better understand and assist the bodies all whom I serve as a body mechanics detective.
The reality is that life is constantly going to knock us off course. And there is not one other area of life in which we don’t need our bodies to carry us. In our work, relationships, studies, leisure time… We need our body to show up for us, and the degree to which we can thrive in any other aspect of our lives cannot surpass the degree to which we’ve first attended to our body’s needs.
So maybe you’d like to sit with these questions today:
What is the current demand you’re feeling from life that you feel your movement practice, or exercise program, can fulfill?
And how might you be using exercise as a crutch, a means to an end, or an escape? (what’s the hidden motive?)
Can you see a way in which this time spent tending to your body could manifest to support you in another area of life?
How is developing mastery over your body going to help you live to your highest values, not distract you from them?
Just my humble thoughts about physical mastery, for today.
