A Liberated Body student recently asked me this question:
“I find myself not really taking the time to do the exercises we went through and continuously do my stretches, I’m not really sure why there is such resistance. Does this happen with your clients?”
Ummm YES. 100% this was me. Does this feel familiar to you, too?
This student is essentially asking: I know this work is important, so why am I not prioritizing it? I answered her question in a video:
I didn’t realize I was talking for an hour! So if you’d like to listen while you’re on the move, I have an audio-only version for you:
Audio quality isn’t fantastic, but I wasn’t really planning to make it into a “podcast”. Next time I’ll use my mic!
Originally, did this video on a Facebook live, my first time ever doing that (you can check that out here in all its unedited, awkward glory).
Do you need to practice the “middle finger mudra”?
Usually if there is something we want (like to move better with less pain) but we aren’t taking the action to get it, it’s because a form of resistance is in the way.
Identifying your resistance will show you exactly what action you need to take. What story you’te telling yourself that you need to say a big F*#K YOU to. Starting today.
I find the middlge finger mudra very helpful here 😉
Go 100% into the resistance. Give yourself no option. Stop thinking, just do the thing. No matter how small that first step is, go into it 100%. Worst thing that can happen is you’ll quit and things will stay exactly the same.
So there’s really nothing to lose! Just take the next little step.
If you haven’t tried this meditation yet, do it now (and use that special middle finger mudra to embody it…)
Do you need a little help with that first small step to taking ownership? Need some accountability to make sure you don’t back out again? Or feel like you need a “reset” to help start a new movement practice or routine?
I invite you to join my next Liberated Body workshop.
I make the process of doing your work less big and daunting, showing you exactly what to do and how to do it. And hopefully fun, too 😉
Not sure if its right for you? Email me and we can figure that out.
Anyway, below is a complete breakdown of the stuff I rambled on about in the video, in case you’d rather read the bullet notes.
Enjoy!
Why am I so dang resistant to doing the work?
In the video I cover:
- What is resistance?
- 6 step framework to get from facts to results
- 13 of the most common mindset blocks that are keeping you from actually doing dang exercises you know you should be doing.
- 3 step process of awakening: Consiousness, witnessing, awareness
- How behaviour influces our attitude, not the other way around
What is resistance anyway?
That voice in our head that says:
- This isn’t important
- I don’t want to do that
- I don’t know how
- It’s too overwhelming
- I don’t have the time
- It’s too complicated
- I’m not motivated
- I’m too tired
- I’m scared
- I’m embarassd
- What will people think
- I have this other thing that’s more important, I’ll do it later
The 6 step framework
Using this framework can help take you from seeing the facts to getting the result you want.
Let’s say for Annie, the result is she wants to get out of pain so she can do her work better- Acting, dancing, and living without fear of flaring stuff up.
What does her six step framework look like?
Facts→ truth→ demand→ effort→ transformation→ result
- What are the facts? Annie is in pain and can’t seem to get out of it.
- What’s the truth? Annie can’t bring herself to prioritize the work. To put bluntly: The work isn’t important enough to her, yet.
- What’s her demand? To see the importance in the work she has to do. To do this, she must have a clear vision of the result she will have in her life when she is no longer living in pain.
- What’s her effort? What’s the Sadhana- The daily effort to undertake. Not perfection. For her this might mean putting in her calendar 5 minutes everyday to start working on just one exercise.
- What’s the transformation she needs to make? From someone who isn’t able to give herself even 5 minutes a day to focus 100% on her, to someone who can face her facts with confidence, and be disciplined to do the work, put herself first, prioritize her body’s demands for recovery and healing, while saying no to everythign getting in the way.
- The result? Annie is able to live a pain free life. The result is also bigger than just her. It’s also a blessing for all, when she are living out the vision she has for herself. Annie becoming pain free and modeling ownership of her body’s needs is a blessing for others who meet her. Seeing the blessing relinquishes the sense of guilt or feeling selfish that can arise.
I encourage you to define what these 6 steps look like for you, right now.
13 common forms of resistance: Which do you identify with?
Disclaimer: I’m not a psychologist. Far from it! I’m definitely not claiming I know what’s going on in your hear. These are simply some of the common things that come up, that I’ve observed in my clients, and in myself.
- You think you need more information, or something external to happen before you can get to work. In reality, what is necessary is to put 100% of the focus on YOU. Putting 100% of your focus and attention on you, might be scary because you see how much of a mess things really are, how much effort it will take, so you abort mission. Are you treating your body like I treat my taxes?
- “I can’t change”. Nope. The only truth is that change happens. So we need to be very selective about the tpes of stimuli we expose ourselves to.
- “I don’t have the time”. AKA this is not yet important enough to me. Do you know your values? Can you link doing the work to one of your actual highest values
- It feels too overwhelming and you don’t know where to start. What is overwhelm? It’s the failure to organize something complex into a system with easy to follow steps. Are you not willing to ask for help, or do the research to break the process down systematically? Is there a book you can buy? Is there a program you can enroll in? Do it! You just have to start! The longer you put off doing the work the more it builds up and it seems daunting and you don’t know where to start so you convince yourself its not important anymore.
- The fear that if you commit to getting the result, your entire life has to change. Becoming the new version of yourself can be utterly terrifying because you’re so attached to the comfort and familiarity of the routines and habits and structures you’ve built for yourself, even though they might be keeping you in pain. Are you numbing yourself to this? What are you using to numb out the fear of rising to the new demands?
- “I don’t think it will work for ME”. AKA do you think you’re special and the rules of “put in the work, reap what you sow” don’t apply to you? Or that if it doesn’t work instantly that it doesn’t work at all? Are you addicted to instant gratification so that if something doesn’t immediately make a change, you dismiss it? Sometimes this work takes time. This might be a long term process. It will work for you if you do the work.
- “I’m afraid that things will get worse because I might do it wrong, so I don’t do anything”. Well they’ll get worse if you do nothing, so you might as well start doing something so you can rule in and out what works for you and what doesn’t.
- “I don’ thave the motivation”. Motivation is relying on something external. Inspiration is when something wakes up inside and says “I need to do this, and I want to do this”. When we can see the situation clearly- the facts- and wake up to the demand, something WILL automatically spark in us to take action.
- Are you worried about what other people will think? We get invested in the image people have created of us. Maybe taking time to do self-care isn’t part of your identityand you worry what people will think of you. Will it look selfish? Will I look weird? Will people think I’m weak? Could trying to be who you think people want you to be keeping you stuck? Two options: Stop caring, or get new friends.
- Is your identity built around moving and exercising in only one particular way? And do you put up a wall against anything that isn’t that thing, because it’s not in line with the current image of yourself you’ve built? Are you addicted to intensity? Unwilling to try a gentler way because the only way you can feel something is when its 100%, hardstyle? We can’t toperate at 100% all the time. What if you aimed to operate at 20% effort, 80% of the time, to build a reserve?
- Does taking the responsibility for your body feel too scary? Do you think life shouldn’t be scary sometimes? This is called delusion… Do you just want to escape into fun, and when things get too hard, or aren’t interesting do you quit? Use this resistance as the cue to do the thing. Stop thinking about it and just do it.
- Do you see doing the work as punishment, or as an act of self-love? Can reframe it? Can you make YOU sacred, and the work your ceremony? Can you see this work as love, not punishment?
- Are you unwilling to say no to the things and people you need to say no to, in order to say YES to doing this work? To do one exercise for just for 5 minutes a day, what will you have to ssay no to? Mindless scrolling on your phone?
Thats’ definitely not a complete list. And I’m certainly not trying to psychoanalyze you, or Annie, or anyone else. I simply hope that this helps you identify if any of these patterns exist in you, right now.
Now your turn… What forms of resistance did you identify with? I’d love to hear. Shoot me an email back, or write a vomment on this post. Or is there soemthing else I didn’t mention? I’m genuinely curious 🙂
Books and stuff I referenced:
Dance Stronger ebook and training program
The Values Factor, book by Dr. John Demartini
The meditation teacher I mentiond: Dhyan Vimal
In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts, book by Dr. Gabor Mate
The Flinch, book by Julien Smith
Want more movement nerdy goodness? Come hang out with me in one of my monthly free Movement Nerd Hangouts, every second Friday of the month. Check the schedule here and get on the VIP list.
